I am fortunate to live in such a quiet place. Just now I need to be quiet to cope with life.
This is not the place to bare my soul so I will not give any detail.
Yesterday my father died. My childhood was traumatic but when dad had a major stroke in 1985 I had to bury the emotion and get on with caring for him. I have been fighting for him since to ensure he had a comfortable, happy life. I feel I managed it. He died peacefully, just slipped away and now I can face my childhood. If I am not around as much I hope you will understand why.
I had a quick trip to England. I left Thursday evening, arriving at the hotel at 2am. P came with me and was and is so supportive. We stayed at the hospital all Friday morning and spoke to the consultant. I said no heroic measures. He had another massive stroke. I sat and held his hand and said goodbye. By 11pm on Friday we were pulling out of Portsmouth harbour on our way home. Reaching home at 9.30 Saturday morning to perpare the Gite for guests. The call came at 10.30.
I had to call my sisters to let them know and spoke to them both before dad died. I have not spoken to them for over 15 years. The pain for all of us goes too deep. I am trying to find my brother.
I will continue to talk to my sisters as now I feel I can.
My dogs sat and watched me preparing their breakfast of scrambled eggs. Bruno kept nudging me. They didn't do that when I tipped kibble into their bowls! They are both loving real food.
As I am no longer on standby for trips to the UK I can settle into life here. I want to develop our gite business. This time as well as the usual welcome pack I gave the home made crab apple and blackberry jelly in a jam pot and wrapped one of my soaps in tissue and left it in the soap dish in the bathroom. I want to add a few extras for our guests. I will have to get going making more soap and bathbombs. I also want to get ahead by making bits for the other two Gites.
Daughter has a survey being done on her place tomorrow morning so looks like the sale is going ahead. We are still holding our breath though. Meanwhile we will crack on with creating a home for them.
Weather is blue sky and sun. It looks so beautiful here at the moment.